All cute things are evil. That's a fact. The little puppy who chews up your favorite pair of shoes, the kitten who murders your sofa, the rabbit who poops in your lap. Cute....but EVIL.
It's like when you see a little girl who's like
and then she starts gnawing on your finger to try to hurt you because she wants to give Barbie a haircut but you remind her that Barbie is for everybody at the camp to play with and she starts to bawl and decides that she has a craving for human flesh and tries to bite you to let out her anger and everyone is staring at you and you don't think you will ever be able to volunteer at this camp again and your skin is covered in child saliva and this sentence is getting kinda long so I'll stop now.
Little kids are soul eaters. They lure you in with cuteness and somehow manage to get you to agree to something. It's just like that time when my cousin's child lured me into climbing on top this huge rock to get a scrap of cardboard he saw on top of it. This was not any particular rock... it was the rock that was more like a rock on steroids.
"PLEASE climb that rock," he begged.
"No."
"PLEASE?"
"No. I'll die or something."
"THEN GO DIE! I WANT MY CARDBOARD!"
Then, he bursted into tears and everybody thought that I was a horrible person who fed off of others' pain (which I am). I had no choice but to climb it. Of course, based on my natural clumsiness, I manage to fall and break my wrist. As I was getting a cast at the hospital, he happily said "Thanks!" and inside, I was like "O_O"
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